The whole website is about RAR, but since every other website has an "about" page, RAR has decided to do it as well. It might not make any sense, but so what, why do we care about what makes sense? As well as being revolutionary, RAR also tries to follow the latest trends. RAR, however, is too difficult to explain in words; definitely not possible in one website. It's a noun, verb, adverb, adjective, interjection, conjunction, you name it, RAR is that! The unabridged dictionary is so long, chiefly because of the word "RAR", which last year took up 70% of the space. Indeed, for your sake (actually mine, I don't want to spend my whole life on this), we have not decided to define RAR. Instead, this "about" page will chiefly focus on a few random things such as the RAR HieRARchy and the RAR anthem, even though these don't tell you about what RAR really is. That will take you a long enough time to read. If you really want to know an extremely simplified version of the definition of RAR, go to the FAQ.
The RAR hieRARchy
How does the hieRARchy work? As a member, there are good things and bad things you can do to change your position on the hierarchy. New members start on the "should be banned" list. Two quotes on this:
"You could do a ChessAngel57 and create 100s of spam forums. You could do an omeletking and say "you llook so bad" about Joseph. You could do a logozar and create forums about positional chess. You could do a F117nighthawk and repeatedly criticize Joseph and annoy him. You could do a RookSacrifice and tell Joseph that you could rejoin even if he kicked you out."-RookSacrifice on how to get banned
"Oh, and any insult to the deer leader leads to demotion. Also if you say a word that means "to belch" you will also be demoted. If you are annoying and not funny you will be banned. If you are not funny and try to be funny, you will be banned. If you are a spammer you will be banned. If you teach standard methods of improvement in chess and aren't funny you will also be banned. You may also be banned for no reason, don't take it personally."- Rules of the RAR group
Every single successful system of government has had different classes (democracy has been a complete failure) and RAR is no different:
Dear (Deer) Leader:
The Deer Leader enjoys all the benefits of RAR, and is also its supreme dict--er, I mean president. Enjoying a salary of $10,000 per month (although he can take extra if he wants), he gets to own the seat for his whole life, rule the lives of over 200 people, and gets everything he wants. Everything in RAR is meant to comfort and appease the Dear Leader, without him, what would exist? After all, he created RAR, which we all ardently love, and as a result deserves to get everything he wants.
Might be banned:
- YoyoPuppy (for creating and updating the RAR website... even though she adamantly supports BURP)
- DKBRAO (for loyalty and for convincing people that RAR is great)
- Stephen_Stanfield (for promoting RAR)
The "might be banned" all have to work to get that title. People doing nothing "should be banned" after all, as listed below. Paying only $10 a month, they enjoy the rights of Joseph pretending to joke with them, and the respect and admiration of the rest of the members, of the group, and of the world. Their constant dedication to RAR is looked upon with envy and amazement from everyone else, and they realize their luck to be in such a great place.
Should be banned:
- RookSacrifice (for saying "freedom of speech")
- Hanqi (for asking to be an admin)
- And everybody else not listed... (for doing nothing, since new members start at this rank)
The "should be banned" generally consists of members who do not do anything. If they don't do any serious offenses, or make up for them (RookSacrifice both advertised RAR and criticized it), they can get into this group. The default group, it involves a membership fee of either $50 a month, or the discount of paying $1000 per year. These members know they are in the danger zone, but have the luxury of knowing that they must commit a serious offense to get kicked out of the group, unlike the....
Will be banned:
- chessguy1012 (for wishing a RIOT to happen)
- F117nighthawk (for being annoying)
- pouncingpawn (for spamming and for not adoring Joseph but rather himself)
- Speedybulletchess (for beating Joseph in a simul, for asking to be admin and, for proposing a revolution)
- logozar (for caring about chess improvement)
The "will be banned" are appealing their decision, thus holding up their bans. RAR's appeal courts are extremely unfair, but also take forever, so they might be in this goal for a few more minutes. Nevertheless, any more offenses by these people will result in an immediate ban. These members must pay a membership fee of $50 per day, or the discounted rate of $2000 per month (we usually force them to pay this for their own good). Even uttering "BURP" or "admin me" will turn them into the...
- ChessAngel57 a.k.a. too_tired_to_lose (for spamming and for criticizing the dictator)
- omeletking (for being a master and for criticizing the dictator)
- zachinia (for being annoying)
These former members are looked on with great contempt, although their $1500/day fees are what keep the group alive. Serious offenses, as listed above, cannot be forgiven, and once banned, members will never be let back in. Members are generally banned either for good reason or for RAR's benefit when it is in need for more money. If these members commit more offenses, we can't do much, but they are spending the rest of their lives paying RAR their daily dues and writing apologies and pleas (and please) to let them back into the group. But they're never coming back.
The RAR anthem
[To the tune of "Star Spangled Banner"]
1. "O say can you see, our ruling RAR master,
Whom we've paid to our dues, our life and our morals,
In exchange we have seen, a total disaster,
And all, that we've got, is everyone to quarrel,
But I r'member the start, when we thought RAR was art!
Then it took over, and we knew we weren't smart.
But still Joseph gives great speeches every day,
And as long, as he lives, I'll be happy, I say."
2. "On evil August 10th, chess.com got the RAR,
They thought it wasn't bad, but they were so dead wrong,
Less than one year later, you can see that so far,
No one has stopped the RAR, so we created this song,
No one will ever stop the RARmy when it robs,
Your life, and your hope, and everything you've got,
But in spite of this, we know that Joseph is here,
And with him, on our side, what could we have to fear?"
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