The whole website is about RAR, but since every other website has an "about" page, RAR has decided to do it as well. It might not make any sense, but so what, why do we care about what makes sense? As well as being revolutionary, RAR also tries to follow the latest trends. RAR, however, is too difficult to explain in words; definitely not possible in one website. It's a noun, verb, adverb, adjective, interjection, conjunction, you name it, RAR is that! The unabridged dictionary is so long, chiefly because of the word "RAR", which last year took up 70% of the space. Indeed, for your sake (actually mine, I don't want to spend my whole life on this), we have not decided to define RAR. Instead, this "about" page will chiefly focus on a few random things such as the RAR HieRARchy, RAR's history, and the RAR anthem, even though these don't tell you about what RAR really is. That will take you a long enough time to read. If you really want to know an extremely simplified version of the definition of RAR, go to the FAQ.
The RAR hieRARchy
How does the hieRARchy work? As a member, there are good things and bad things you can do to change your position on the hierarchy. New members start on the "should be banned" list. Two quotes on this:
"You could do a ChessAngel57 and create 100s of spam forums. You could do an omeletking and say "you llook so bad" about Joseph. You could do a logozar and create forums about positional chess. You could do a F117nighthawk and repeatedly criticize Joseph and annoy him. You could do a RookSacrifice and tell Joseph that you could rejoin even if he kicked you out."-RookSacrifice on how to get banned
"Oh, and any insult to the deer leader leads to demotion. Also if you say a word that means "to belch" you will also be demoted. If you are annoying and not funny you will be banned. If you are not funny and try to be funny, you will be banned. If you are a spammer you will be banned. If you teach standard methods of improvement in chess and aren't funny you will also be banned. You may also be banned for no reason, don't take it personally."- Rules of the RAR group
Every single successful system of government has had different classes (democracy has been a complete failure) and RAR is no different:
Dear (Deer) Leader:
The Deer Leader enjoys all the benefits of RAR, and is also its supreme dict--er, I mean president. Enjoying a salary of $10,000 per month (although he can take extra if he wants), he gets to own the seat for his whole life, rule the lives of over 200 people, and gets everything he wants. Everything in RAR is meant to comfort and appease the Dear Leader, without him, what would exist? After all, he created RAR, which we all ardently love, and as a result deserves to get everything he wants.
Might be banned:
- YoyoPuppy (for creating and updating the RAR website... even though she adamantly supports BURP)
- DKBRAO (for loyalty and for convincing people that RAR is great)
- Stephen_Stanfield (for promoting RAR)
The "might be banned" all have to work to get that title. People doing nothing "should be banned" after all, as listed below. Paying only $10 a month, they enjoy the rights of Joseph pretending to joke with them, and the respect and admiration of the rest of the members, of the group, and of the world. Their constant dedication to RAR is looked upon with envy and amazement from everyone else, and they realize their luck to be in such a great place.
Should be banned:
- RookSacrifice (for saying "freedom of speech")
- Hanqi (for asking to be an admin)
- And everybody else not listed... (for doing nothing, since new members start at this rank)
The "should be banned" generally consists of members who do not do anything. If they don't do any serious offenses, or make up for them (RookSacrifice both advertised RAR and criticized it), they can get into this group. The default group, it involves a membership fee of either $50 a month, or the discount of paying $1000 per year. These members know they are in the danger zone, but have the luxury of knowing that they must commit a serious offense to get kicked out of the group, unlike the....
Will be banned:
- chessguy1012 (for wishing a RIOT to happen)
- F117nighthawk (for being annoying)
- pouncingpawn (for spamming and for not adoring Joseph but rather himself)
- Speedybulletchess (for beating Joseph in a simul, for asking to be admin and, for proposing a revolution)
- logozar (for caring about chess improvement)
The "will be banned" are appealing their decision, thus holding up their bans. RAR's appeal courts are extremely unfair, but also take forever, so they might be in this goal for a few more minutes. Nevertheless, any more offenses by these people will result in an immediate ban. These members must pay a membership fee of $50 per day, or the discounted rate of $2000 per month (we usually force them to pay this for their own good). Even uttering "BURP" or "admin me" will turn them into the...
- ChessAngel57 a.k.a. too_tired_to_lose (for spamming and for criticizing the dictator)
- omeletking (for being a master and for criticizing the dictator)
- zachinia (for being annoying)
These former members are looked on with great contempt, although their $1500/day fees are what keep the group alive. Serious offenses, as listed above, cannot be forgiven, and once banned, members will never be let back in. Members are generally banned either for good reason or for RAR's benefit when it is in need for more money. If these members commit more offenses, we can't do much, but they are spending the rest of their lives paying RAR their daily dues and writing apologies and pleas (and please) to let them back into the group. But they're never coming back.
RM Joseph Truelson writes on April 7, 2017 about how he discovered the RAR:
The first 15 years of my life were very sad. They were very cold. BRRR! (Before RAR RAR RAR)
Fortunately, I managed to find a cause to identify myself with, the RAR. Everyone says that I took it from someone else, but I actually made it, and if someone came up with it before me I don't care! If they tell the truth, so what. But if they're lying, then they are evil!
I've decided that the best way to describe the change in my life is to describe the two main periods of my life, BRRR, and RAR (Radiant after RAR). I'll describe the last Day of no RAR, and my first day of RAR!
BRRR: January 15, 2016
The air rushed through and threw Joseph's ear as he walked to school. In anticipation, he checked his grades in his iPad, even though he couldn't do it without his internet. He had no RAR, thus he didn't have the skills to hack, or do anything right.
School wasn't that pleasant. His teachers were tired of his constant honesty and smartness, even telling him that they wished that to teach the class he could be wrong every so often. This would also help Joseph from getting beat up, as many kids wanted to kill him for being better than them.
For example, in his math class, his last class before lunch, after deconstructing a long equation, his teacher asked, what is 17+8?
"25!!" Joseph exclaimed. The other kids in his Algebra 2 class were jealous as none of them could do this in less than 70 seconds, while Joseph only look 3. They grudgingly looked at each other and decided to make sure the whole school kept away from Joseph, so that he could be miserable.
And so miserable, he was.
At lunch time he wasn't able to eat anything, as his food was clearly inedible, and he had no money to buy anything, even though he lived on Mercer Island. He wondered to himself, "does life always have to be so empty and meaningless?" "Can't something good come from life?" But he realized that life would continue to be unhappy. At least he had a chess tournament the next day, to lift him out of his sad state for a whole weekend.
That night, he questioned himself. What is the meaning of life, he thought to himself. What is the meaning of chess? Why am I hear? After that last question, he heard something in the distance. He opened his window, and heard a small noise. "Rar", it said to him.
"What?" He said. "That's what it was? Are you serious universe? What is RAR? What does it mean to me?"
The universe replied, "Well since I know everything, I'll just tell you that in a year and a few months you'll be writing about this experience, so I better be eloquent. But anyways, in reality, I'm a really lazy universe. I'm tired of you complaining, so the meaning of life is RAR. Ok? Just RAR. Now stop bugging me and let me create more stupid noises for other people just like you. You're not special at all, after all."
Joseph finally realized that he'd discovered the meaning of life, and therefore what he should do what with his life. He should do RAR! That's what he needed to do! He was inspired.
RAR: Radiant after RAR! January 16, 2016
The first battle against RAR took place at the tournament, the Seattle City Championship, where Jason Zhang tried to take it down before it could become a world famous philosophy, but he was unsuccessful.
"Always so many buddies! I will have a great event!" Joseph exclaimed. He was always excited to see them all. And they came! There were so many of them that neither this write or Joseph himself can remember who was there.
He went off in a usual lecture in the skittles room. "Well! So many people! Can't wait to get to know you all! As you know, I am the friendly and sociable Joseph Truelson, and you will all be my buddies; I call everybuddy buddy! Keep playing chess, you will always have fun! I will help you have fun, because I am friendly and very humble! So... yeah... umm.. well yeah! Anyone want to do anything now? (silence), well... in that case I better give another lecture..." At some point, Jason Zhang was tired of all the talking from Joseph, and told him to shut up and stop being so annoying. This was the first attack of the anti-RAR. This was met with shock from Joseph, who said that he hadn't criticized Jason, even though he had indirectly criticized him (RAR insults everyone), but thought Jason criticized him for no reason. A rivalry was in the making, and the two insulted each other, with Jason being more serious, but Joseph trying to be more funny. "You are hurting my feelings, I feel very sad" and "Really? Stop being such an idiot, like me". "RAR RAR RAR"
The atttempt to stop the RAR never stopped. During this tournament, Joseph suddenly realized that he'd fulfilled his life's meaning and destiny. He RARed with tons of players, actually had a good time, and realized that school didn't matter, and stopped having a 4.0 GPA. He started to become more "controversial" and many people hated him and thought he was annoying. Many threatened to take his life. However, it's clear that RAR made Joseph's life a lot better...
RAR clearly means a lot to me, as can be shown by my previous life and after life. Life is basically RAR, you can substitute the terms in any situation. RAR is the reason I exist. Also, RAR has given me power. Power over all of you, the ability to hack and be manipulative, and use RAR files or destroy them at my own doing. It is the reason that anyone talks to me, and has led me to the road to a perfect life. I must say, RAR means everything to me, and if it doesn't mean everything to you, you're disqualified!
In summarization of what was just said. RAR means 5 things to me:
Happiness: RAR has been a constant source of happiness in life to me. Even when everything else is down, and everything is always down, RAR won't fail me. It's like a best friend.
Cheating: RAR also has allowed me to get away with cheating. And not just on chess, but in my school life as well. I cheat on most of my essays, and in my chess games I have to cheat since I don't actually understand anything about the game.
Cause: The RAR is a noble cause. Teenagers are often to believed to the "rebels without a cause". And that's what the RAR is! By standing for everything, it stands, and means, nothing. Which is what's so great about it! You might ask "what are you rebelling about"? I'll reply "I don't know, deer (name here)". Then you'll reply, believing that you've been inspired even though you haven't, that "I guess that's what you're rebelling about"
Life: Chess isn't love, chess isn't life, not even Chess4Life. However, RAR is love, RAR is life, and RAR is 4 life. Although since RAR is actually everything, I guess it supports abortion and euthanasia, while being against it at the same time. Interesting. It also means nothing though. I'm still trying to understand the concept, which leads into the last question:
Confusion: I will never understand the RAR. How you can do and not do something, or believing and not believing something, is a weird concept that has been explored in 1984, but never answered. But confusion is good, and that's what RAR does to me. I can never understand it, but that's what makes it so amazing.
Thanks RAR! I wouldn't be anywhere without you!
The RAR anthem
[To the tune of "Star Spangled Banner"]
1. "O say can you see, our ruling RAR master,
Whom we've paid to our dues, our life and our morals,
In exchange we have seen, a total disaster,
And all, that we've got, is everyone to quarrel,
But I r'member the start, when we thought RAR was art!
Then it took over, and we knew we weren't smart.
But still Joseph gives great speeches every day,
And as long, as he lives, I'll be happy, I say."
2. "On evil August 10th, chess.com got the RAR,
They thought it wasn't bad, but they were so dead wrong,
Less than one year later, you can see that so far,
No one has stopped the RAR, so we created this song,
No one will ever stop the RARmy when it robs,
Your life, and your hope, and everything you've got,
But in spite of this, we know that Joseph is here,
And with him, on our side, what could we have to fear?"
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